Archive for July, 2011

Internet Dating – Tips for Meeting the First Time

You have joined an internet dating website, you have uploaded your photograph, you have written an honest profile and as a result you have met a few nice people but one just seems to be head and shoulders above the others. Could this person be the one? Well you will never really find out until you take the plunge and meet up in person.

You really want to meet up but before you charge of in pursuit of the happy ever after, please take a few moments to read and digest some tips that will improve your time and make you feel secure.

These tips apply to any date that you go on and not just internet dating. They represent basic common sense but sometimes when you think you are head over heels in love, common sense can be left at home. Your date will not think any less of you if you appear to be taking sensible dating precautions. The most important thing to do is to make a plan before you go on your date and make yourself a promise to keep to it. If your date wants you to step outside of your plan politely refuse and be honest about the reason. I would argue that someone worth pursuing a relationship with would understand and look forward to the next date with eager anticipation.

Before you go out for the first time, it makes good sense to have a contact plan with a friend or family member. Perhaps get them to call you at a pre-arranged time so you can let them know that you are all right. Also make sure they are available for further contact should you need them.

Before you go out on your first date I suggest that you do not exchange too many personal details such as home phone numbers or your address. Just use your mobile telephone number which is easier to change if there is a problem.

Make your first date somewhere that is open, brightly lit and well populated. Consider a lunch date, it gives you enough time to evaluate your date and also provides a ready made excuse to leave.

As part of your date plan, ensure that you have arranged transport home.

Try to relax and have fun – it is why you are dating in the first place after all. Really try not to appear too keen as this can come accross as desperate and needy. On the other hand try not to be too shy and retiring. Trust your intuition and just be honest and be yourself. Love will find a way if it is meant to be.

First Message In Online Dating: What It Should Consist Of

The question of what to include in a first email to a woman online is as old as time itself. Ok, maybe just as old as whenever the first dating site popped up online. However, if you find yourself wondering what to write in those messages you will definitely like this article, as it will give you a good idea of what to include.

Now, the tips that follow are going to assume that you have read the woman’s whole dating profile and given it some thought. Yes, you do have to read the whole thing, sorry. The only exception is if her profile resembles a chapter from War and Peace. You definitely want to skim through those if you must send this woman a message; or better yet just skip it all together.

Alright, so let’s get into this…

Make It Humorous

I think we all know humor can be great for attraction. However online humor can be very different from in person humor. So if you do use it, be careful with it.

Sarcasm and dry humor tend to not translate well to online communication. Try to use more obvious, playful types of humor if you can. One thing that would fall into this category would be referencing pop culture in a funny manner. Women are always up on pop culture and it usually doesn’t lose its intention through the internet.

For instance I’ve referenced Jersey Shore many times in a funny way. Always seems to work. You see those Jersey Shore kids are good for something.

Use Creativity To Stand Out

Women are constantly flooded with a few different types of messages. They are either basic greetings, like “How are you” or “What’s up”; physical compliments like “OMG you’re so beautiful”; or totally creepy sexual messages or requests. You can use your imagination on variations of those I’m sure.

99.9% of times these messages are deleted instantly. To not fall into this category it’s clear that we’re going to have to be more creative.

Here’s one way to be creative, but there are many. Make a comment that will grab her attention.
I’ll use a message I recently sent online as an example.

A saw a profile where the picture was a woman sitting at her desk. She was being photographed by multiple people, so you could see a couple of guys with big cameras taking pictures of her in the actual photo.

My message was only one sentence and had to do with asking her if paparazzi was following her around. That got a laugh out of her, and started a good email exchange back and forth.

Make Sure The Length Is Not Too Long or Too Short

You will look quite desperate and more than a little try hard if you compose an extremely long, detailed, first message. You want to seem that you have a good life going for yourself already, and these long and windy emails are not indicative of that kind of lifestyle.

Then again, as we’ve already discussed, really basic and short “How are you” emails don’t work either, unless they are creative or witty like I described in the previous section.

That being said I would say most times the ideal length is 2-4 sentences. It shows some effort, especially if you’ve read her profile, which you should. However it is not an overly eager, long message, telling her your life story.

Give Her Something That Makes It Easy For Her To Respond

What is the point of the first email you send? It’s to get a first response from the woman. That’s it. Obviously, down the line you want the date, but it all starts with getting a response first.

A good way to get her to respond can again be a one line type of message, if it is witty and unique without being creepy. I’m sure you know from looking at many women’s profiles that often times there’s not much to go on.

In that case you can go a more conservative route, just making some conversation about her profile and maybe what you like about it. In that case it is important to ask one or two questions so the woman can respond to your message without having to think of topics to discuss.

Regardless of what you may think, women go blank trying to come up with conversation topics sometimes as well. So by providing a question or two you make it that much easier for her to respond.

Make Sure Your Profile and Photos Are Good

Remember, before a woman even reads your message, often she will take a glance at your profile first. If it’s bad, she won’t waste her time reading your message, because she already knows she’s not interested.